


Keeping a Secret

by artemis_writes98



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Developing Relationship, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-14 00:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20591471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemis_writes98/pseuds/artemis_writes98
Summary: Callum Highway’s had a rough start to the summer. It doesn’t get any easier when he’s on the verge of getting evicted from his flat and he needs to find rent money fast.Cue a timely offer from one Ben Mitchell. He has the money Callum needs, and is willing to give it to him, but on one condition: Callum has to pretend to be his boyfriend for the rest of the summer.





	1. Chapter 1

The Caff was unusually quiet for a Tuesday morning, not that it bothered Callum much at all. He was enjoying his tea in the hidden corner of the cafe, quietly humming along to the radio that rang out from behind the counter. 

An elderly man was sat reading his newspaper at one table, sipping his own tea ever so often. A young woman sat at another, typing away on her smartphone, with a half eaten pastry sitting in front of her. It was calm, peaceful. 

Callum was thankful.

It was half eight in the morning and he had a whole day waiting ahead of him in the Undertakers. It wasn’t that he was dreading going to work, he rarely disliked the thought of it. Not that it was ever his first choice of a job; taking care of the recently deceased, and the mourners that followed. 

He was thankful to Jay, still, for giving him the job. He probably always will feel that sense of gratitude; that’s just who he was. But it took him time to adjust. After the eight or ninth body, it started to get a little easier. Sometimes he worries he’s too adjusted, whatever he thinks that means. As if he could come across any dead body, at any random place, (as you do) and he wonders if it would phase him, like it would any normal person.

He shakes his head slightly. He didn’t know where _that_ train of thought was leading him and he’s not sure if he’d like to know.

It was a little unnerving at first, how quiet it was most days, but he learned to enjoy it. Walford was hectic, always had been - at least it was for as long as he lived there. It didn’t take him long to realise that his job was probably one of the more peaceful places on the square. 

Well, apart from one constant disturbance. One that, for some reason, has painted a bullseye on Callum’s back and has made it his mission to torment him. Callum’s not sure what he did to deserve the attention Ben Mitchell throws at him, whether Callum likes it or not.

**Scratch that** \- _regardless_ of Callum liking it or not. Not that he can really say much, given that Ben was basically his boss’s brother. It would be hard to file a complaint against his employers family for harassment with an outcome in Callum’s favour. Not that it’s even that drastic in the first place, but Ben knows what buttons to push, and sometimes he forces Callum to really consider having a serious word with Jay. 

Checking his watch, it reads ten to nine. Callum downs the rest of his tea, grimacing at the now cold liquid. He can worry about Ben another time, or when he’s probably forced to be in his presence later. It was something he knew he had to anticipate; Ben randomly stopping by during the week to have a chat with Jay. He knows to expect his teasing and his jokes; not that it made him anymore keen to endure them.

The Market stalls were still being set up as he made his way to work. He smiled politely at Kush and Martin, who were chatting idly with their cups of coffee. 

Jay had asked him to open up this morning; he had a late night with Lola the night before. The keys jingled in his trouser pocket as he reached the door - he was just about to take them out, until something caught his attention. His brows furrowed for a moment, confused. There was a sheet of paper stuck to the door of his flat. He had only been in the caff about fifteen minutes and it wasn’t there when he left this morning. At least, not that he had noticed.

Yanking it off the door, it was hard to mistake the bright red lettering -

**FINAL WARNING**

“Oh for - “ Callum stopped himself and sighed, closing his eyes to collect himself for a moment.

He was weeks behind on his rent. He was a newly single tenant, after he and his partner Chris split up two and a half months back. Chris moved out of the flat and out of Walford altogether. He had to go back to the army, and Callum knew this. It wasn’t new information. He thought they could make it work - he wanted to make it work, but Chris just didn’t feel the same. Callum hadn’t heard from him since the break up. Chris mentioned that he was going to move in with his sister before being shipped out. Callum didn’t even know if he was still in the country.

He felt his chest tighten, remembering that night. It came as such a kick to the stomach. Callum knew things were going slowly between them, but he thought they were both happy. He knew he was. He begged Chris to stay, tried to convince him that there was still hope for them.

Chris already had his things packed. He gave Callum a tight hug goodbye, climbed into the back of a black cab, and that was the last Callum had seen of him. Callum’s not sure what he did wrong, and despite Chris’ assurances, he knew he had to be the reason; that it was his fault. He just couldn’t figure out why exactly. He drowned his sorrows that night and cried his eyes out, until he passed out on their - his - bed, still fully clothed. 

He aggressively scrunched up the letter and stuffed it into his back pocket.

Work would be a welcome distraction. He doesn’t know how he’s going to get the money to afford his home for another two months, or at least until he can find somewhere cheaper.

_‘I’ll worry about it later’_ He thinks. It’s not the first time he’s used that line to ignore his on-going problem. He just can’t think about it right now. _‘I’ll get it sorted. Somehow.’_

—

Work wasn’t helping to distract him as much as he had hoped. It was a relatively slow day, even for his kind of job. They didn’t have any new clients, and the paperwork was light and easy. 

It was nearly two in the afternoon. Jay had texted him an hour ago asking him to take over for the day. Callum happily obliged, texted him back back that it wouldn’t be a problem, not to worry.

_ 'Probably hungover'_ Callum mused to himself. Lola had been badgering Jay for days the week before to take her out on a date night. They made such a sweet couple, Callum smiled to himself. They had been together for three years already, and engaged for eight months now. 

He ignored the sting of jealousy at the thought. His break up with Chris was still a little too fresh. 

He leant back in his office chair, his long legs stretched out before him. He couldn’t ignore the panic induced flips in his stomach every time his mind wandered to the wrinkled out piece of paper sitting on his desk. The giant red block letters mocking him. He let out a long sigh and stared up at the ceiling.

He felt deflated. He considered asking Jay for over-time, but he wasn’t sure if there was enough work to even grant that. 

_‘Maybe I could get a second job at the caff? Or maybe Mick could take me back in the Vic…’_ He pondered silently.

He knew it didn’t matter anyway. Even if he could take up a second job, he still wouldn’t have enough time to get the money together. He wondered if he would even have enough time to lock down another flat before he would be evicted. The thought of moving didn’t sit well with him. He liked where he lived, though the air in his home felt sad now; lonely, since Chris just up and left. He had more good memories there than most though. It was his first place that was really his. He wasn’t ready to leave it just yet –

A rough knock on his office door made Callum jump, sitting up straight now on his wonky desk chair.

“Oh I’m sorry, not disturbing you, am I?” 

And there he was, like clockwork. Ben always popped in around early afternoon during the week. Callum hoped he wouldn’t. Nothing was really going his way today.

He rolled his eyes. Disturbing Callum in his own workplace was the least of Ben’s worries. In fact Callum was sure it was a hobby of his at this point - considering that he does it at least two or three times a week. Why he gets a kick out of it Callum will never understand.

“What do you want?” He shoots Ben a weak glare as he sits up at his desk properly now.

Ben tuts, feigning offence to Callum’s tone. He leans against the door frame casually, hands in his front pockets. 

“Now is that anyway to talk to a mate, Halfway? Hope you don’t talk to your punter’s like that, could be bad for business.” 

Callum looks at him pointedly, expression unchanged. Ben smiles, a little too sweetly.

“Didn’t realise we was mates.” He doesn’t have the patience for Ben today. He pretends to scribble on a random blank form sat on his desk.

“You wound me, Halfway.” Says Ben, holding his hand over his heart. “We have our chats, don’t we? I can’t get enough of them!” He’s mocking him and it’s not lost on Callum. He huffs and slams his pen down.

“Jay ain’t working today, he’s out sick.”

It’s the only reason Ben ever shows up at the Undertakers: A quick chat with Jay, invite him to lunch, annoy Callum, and then he leaves. He rarely shows his face when he knows Jay isn’t scheduled to work.

“Not here for Jay.”

Ben’s expression changes then. Less cocky and more serious, and Callum notices. He narrows his eyes. He was always a by-product of Ben’s visits to Jay. He’s never sought Callum out for a chat on his own when Jay wasn’t around. He’s not sure what to think.

“…Okay?” Callum’s suspicious, and a little worried. Ben could be unpredictable at times, getting himself into trouble, dealing with the wrong people. He can’t think of any reason why he would want to talk to Callum. Callum didn’t really ever do…anything, most of the time. He shouldn’t be of any interest to Ben. Not for reason he could think of, anyway.

Ben steps further into the room and sits himself across from Callum. He has such a smug air about him, like he just didn’t care about anyone or anything. It got under Callum’s skin sometimes. 

“I need a…favour.” he points lazily at Callum, “From you.” And he smiles. Except it’s a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He doesn’t even look particularly happy to be there.

Callum shakes his head, trying to understand what he could possibly want. “What?”

“A favour.” He repeats, deadpan now. No smile. “I can make it worth your while.”

Callum frowns and stares at the man sat in front of him. Ben doesn’t seem too keen to add a further explanation. He blinks at Callum, waiting for a response.

“What are you on about? I - you know what, no, I don’t need getting involved with whatever scheme you’ve got on. I ain’t interested.” 

Ben doesn’t react. Just continues to stare. Callum doesn’t try to stare back, and gets back to writing nonsense on the random work form.

“You can stop pretending to work, Callum, you ain’t fooling no one.”

Callum throws his pen down again and huffs. He meets Ben’s eyes. He’s wary and confused and starting to get annoyed.

Ben sits up in his chair, and for a moment Callum think he’s about to say something. But instead, Ben just slouches, seems like he’s trying to think how he can choose his words carefully. Callum says nothing but this time it’s Ben who won’t meet his eyes. He’s starting to get impatient with him.

“What..uh” Callum tries “what kind of favour?” He doesn’t know why he’s trying to encourage an explanation, but even for Ben it’s odd behaviour and he would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t the littlest bit curious.

Ben just glances at him, gnawing at the inside of his cheek. He’s hesitating, Callum realises.

“If it’s anything illegal just don’t bother, Ben. I’ve enough on my plate as it is.”

“Let me start over.” Ben folds his hands over his stomach. “Let’s call it a proposition, shall we?”

“Prop - Let’s call what a proposition, Ben? I don’t have time for this, really, I don’t–”

“My mum’s threatening to kick me out the house.” 

Callum stills. Out of all the things to come out of Ben’s mouth, that definitely wasn’t on his radar of possibilities. 

“ What? Why? Kathy’s lovely– what have you done?”

Ben rolls his eyes at Callum’s implied accusation. “Well it’s not just Mum. It’s her and Ian. They ambushed me into an ‘intervention’ last night. Said if I don’t get my shit together I’ll be out on the curb by the end of the summer.”

Callum’s frown deepens further. “An intervention? Have you, uh, been using drugs? Or…um…”

Ben chuckles. “If you can call ‘having too much sex’ a drug, then yes.” He smiles broadly, finding his own joke, and like most of his jokes, probably a little too funny.

Callum’s even more confused. And it’s obvious to Ben, his smile barely lasts ten seconds before it’s gone again.

“They reckon that I’ve been bringing back too many strange men to the house; that I’m developing…an unhealthy habit. And that they’re tired of walking in on me so often doing the deed” He draws out ‘deed’ almost sleazily, knowing full well that talking about sex makes Callum uncomfortable. Callum thinks he gets too much enjoyment out of it. “Though I don’t see how it’s my fault they never knock.”

“H-how often have you brought back men to make them do that?” He tries to laugh but it sounds as nervous as he feels.

“Most nights of the week.” Ben smiles broadly like he’s proud of the fact. Which he definitely most likely is “I’m convinced if I was straight it wouldn’t be an issue, but that’s an argument for another day.”

Callum blinks, dumbfounded by all of this information, and why Ben is even bothering him with his problems to begin with.

“Right…and how is me doing you a favour help at all?”

“I’m getting there.” Ben snipes, sitting up straighter in his chair, He scratches the back of his head for a moment, thinking again. 

He’s uncomfortable and Callum can see that, which only worries him more. He doesn’t know what Ben is about to drop on him but if it’s making him struggle to tell Callum then he knows he’s not going to like it.

“So, basically, my mum is threatening to kick me out if I can’t, sometime soon, get myself a boyfriend. A relationship. ‘Something meaningful and fulfilling’, - her words.”

It takes Callum a minute - but the realisation dawns on him and his stomach drops. This situation can’t be happening, not to him of all people.

“You’re hardly asking me out, are you?” He nearly chokes on his words. He feels like his eyes could pop out of his skull any second.

“What? No. You’re pretty Callum but that’s not what I’m offering.”

The relief that washes over Callum is immediate and he has to take a second to sit back in his chair to really feel it. His brain doesn’t even process the compliment Ben gave him - he knows it wasn’t sincere anyway. He never is, it’s nothing new.

“I am asking you to be my boyfriend though.”

If the room was spinning before it was frozen still now. Ben’s words hang in the air, almost like an echo. Callum doesn’t even believe what he’s just heard - can’t believe the words that just came out of Ben’s mouth.

“You what!? You’re taking the mick surely? We’re hardly mates, Ben, you can’t just expect me -

“Stop getting your knickers in a twist, Halfway. I’m not seriously asking you to be my boyfriend.”

His heart is beating a mile a minute and Callum’s just not sure his heart or brain can take much more of this conversation. He’s utterly confused and annoyed and just tired. He’s never had the balls to kick Ben out of his office before but he reckons there’s a first time for anything. But there’s still another wave of relief at Ben’s assurance, even if he has no idea what he’s asking him. He tries to calm himself again.

“I want you to be my fake boyfriend. For the next couple of weeks, at least.”

Never mind.

During this entirely almost one-sided conversation Ben has stayed cool and collected, feeling more relaxed now compared to how he was acting just five minutes ago. Callum’s not sure if that’s him being genuine or if it’s a facade. Either way, it’s not what he’s worrying about right this second. He’s dropped a bombshell on Callum with such ease and nonchalance that even that alone is starting to make Callum’s blood boil.

“You’re taking the piss.”

“I’m not. I like my home, I don’t particularly fancy getting kicked out.”

“Why on earth would I ever agree to that? Have you gone mental?”

“Have you considered what’s in it for you?”

He stalls. He knows Ben well enough now that his deals are shoddy and his plans hardly ever work out in anyone’s favour, least of all his own. But he knows what the other man is hinting at - a bribe. Money. Money that Callum needs, and desperately.

But it’s too ridiculous, too stupid, and just not worth the hassle. Callum will find another way to get the money. He has to. He needs to. 

He sighs dejectedly. Sometimes - and only sometimes - he wishes he had the same level of cockiness and confidence that just oozes from the Mitchell lad sitting in front of him. If he had maybe then he could use it against Ben, tell him that he wants nothing to do with him. But he doesn’t, so he can’t.

“I don’t care, Ben, it’s not happening.” It’s as harsh as Callum can make it sound, which means nothing to Ben really.

“I’ll pay you. whatever it takes, I can get it”

And there’s his confirmation that Callum was right. The air in the room is heavy. Hearing the offer out loud makes his stomach turn. This had to be a joke. God, the universe, whatever it was was taking the utter piss out of Callum right now. He needed money, and this is what he’s offered? Is he truly that desperate?

“Ben, I…I can’t. I can’t, it’s a joke.”

“Name your price.” Ben shrugs. He’s leaning back in his chair now, one leg crossed over the other. 

“W-What?”

“Your price. Money. How much do you want?”

Callum levels him with a stare. He can’t help but let his gaze flicker down to the rent notice in front of him. He just wanted this to be over. He hates Ben for showing his face today. Wishes that Jay was here, thinks that maybe he wouldn’t have to deal with this right now if his boss wasn’t stuck at home recovering from the night before.

“Why me? Hey? Why does it gotta’ be me? Can’t you get any other bloke to do it?”

“Callum, to be honest, you’re the only other gay guy on the square - at least that I know of. And mum already knows you; she likes you. You get paid. I don’t end up homeless. Works out for everyone.”

And that pisses Callum off. ‘Work out for everyone’ ? Fake or not, Callum’s not even sure if he’s in the right headspace for another relationship just yet. He’s sure Ben’s not even taking his feelings into consideration at all here. 

“Are you kidding? That’s your reason? I’m the only other - Jesus Christ, Ben.” His sentence falls almost to a whisper once it leaves his mouth. He knows he might be overreacting, just a bit. It’s Ben. He’s always doing something stupid, without ever taking anyone who could be involved into account. If things were different - if Callum wasn’t struggling to keep his life together at the minute - then it would be an easy, ridiculous, but easy situation to deal with. He would decline - firmly - and ask Ben to piss off. Telling him it’s not worth the stress, that he can find someone else to do it. Or better yet, just take his personal business elsewhere.

But that wasn’t the case. He felt like some cruel, divine force was taunting him. Teasing him with a way out of his problems, a solution. But not without consequence. He tolerated Ben. He didn’t have to see that much of him, didn’t really know him. He didn’t particularly hate him, but he wasn’t fond of him either. To spend weeks with him; intimately, romantically, under false pretences, for money of all reasons – it all sounded like a devils contract to Callum. Albeit a bit dramatic it didn’t sound far off from the truth of the situation.

Ben interrupts Callum’s crises with another blow. “I might have already told her I was datin’ you.”

“You _what?_” 

“I didn’t mean to, it just came out. I was drunk, I panicked. If it’s worth anything, she was really pleased to hear it was you.”

“Ben, for fucksake.” He throws hands up, exasperated and just done with this whole conversation.

“Callum you’d really be doing me big one, mate-”

“Don’t call me mate - you know what, just leave Ben.”

“But -” Ben tries, pleads almost to get more words out, to convince Callum that it wasn’t as bad as it sounds.

“**Leave.**” It’s as firm as Callum can muster but it’s enough for Ben. There was a flash of disappointed on his face, only there for a second but Callum caught it. He felt a pang of guilt in his stomach. Both he and Ben’s situations weren’t much different. He can guess how he feels.

Ben left his office without another word. 

Callum stared at the empty chair that Ben was sat in it only minutes ago. It felt like a lifetime now, after experiencing the whirlwind of emotions the Mitchell boy just put him through. He scrubbed a hand over his eyes for a few seconds. The whole ordeal exhausted him.

He wants to shoot Jay a quick text - tell him he’s going to close up early. But he doesn’t. He can’t really afford to, not now.

He looks at the notice one more time, just for a minute, before he’s folding it up again and stuffing it into his pocket. He had hoped, maybe, that he could just forget about it for a few hours. Until he’s home again and can’t ignore it anymore. But he can feel it still, pressing against his leg. He can’t run away from it as much as he’s tried all day. 

He feels lost.

——-

It felt like an eternity but six o’clock finally rolls around and he’s locking up the building the second the second hand on his watch reached twelve. It’s days like today that Callum’s thankful he doesn’t have to go far to get home. Not that he can get much closer anyway.

His flat is so dark and empty now. He didn’t realise how many small, homey things Chris owned until they were gone. 

He takes his blazer off and throws it haphazardly on the couch. He can iron it later, wrinkles were the least of his worries right now.

It takes him only five minutes to regret it though. The Undertaker’s were always so warm and surprisingly cosy. It wasn’t something he really noticed when he first started working there, not until recently.

He hasn’t turned the heating on in his flat in a week or so; it costs too much now, so he’ll only throw it on when he has guests over; but even that wasn’t much of a common occurrence lately, save a few visits he gets from Stuart from time to time.

But it’s fine. He owns two hot water bottles and he can layer up on clothes. He makes it work, even if he wishes he didn’t have to.

His stomach interrupts his thoughts. He didn’t get the chance to eat lunch earlier - not when Ben was harassing him for the umpteenth time. The panic of his proposition and the overdue rent notice had caused him to lose his appetite.

And now he’s reminded of it again. He sighs heavily and grabs it out of his pocket. It fills him with dread, reading it again for what felt like the hundredth time.

**FINAL WARNING**

**RENT DUE: £ 3, 380. 000**

**RENT HAS BEEN OVERDUE FOR SOMETIME. PLEASE MAKE YOUR PAYMENT BY JUN 17TH 2019 OR YOU ARE IN DANGER OF EVICTION **

The number makes him want to cry. He considered for a moment, if he can borrow from anyone. Stuart and Mick come to mind first but he knows they don’t have the money to spare, even just for themselves. Anyway, he’d feel too guilty asking for so much. It was currently the tenth of June. He was running out of time.

His stomach growls again. He throws the notice down on the kitchen counter. He was tired of looking at it. He read the warning too many times today as it was, it was starting to drive him mad.

It takes him only a minute before Callum’s reminded again how today just really wasn’t his day.

The fridge was almost barren, save a tub of butter, quarter pint of milk, a few stray vegetables, and two single leftover slices of pizza from the night before.

He couldn’t stop the lump in his throat. He was so frustrated and so tired and he just wanted a break. He was cold and hungry and flat broke. He wanted to challenge the universe, yell at his empty flat if it had anything else planned for him to go wrong in his life. He wanted to cry, to break something.

But he wasn’t stupid. He knew it to be pointless, to get angry and wreck something that would probably end up costing him more money to replace in the end anyway.

He tries to swallow the lump down harshly.

He feels his heart sink a little, when he remembers that he still has one viable option left. 

He has his phone out and his thumb hesitantly hovers over his name. Tries to console himself, that at least it wasn’t something stupidly dangerous or illegal. Save for the danger to his own sanity. He takes a deep breath and he calls.

It’s on the third ring when Ben answers.

“I’ll do it.” Callum speaks before Ben gets the chance to offer a greeting, “But I want the cash upfront and as soon as possible.”

“How much?” It doesn’t sit with him well that that’s all Ben can offer to say to him in the moment. But he supposes it’s enough, he doesn’t want to drag out the conversation either.

“Four thousand.” His voice wavers. It’s a risk, asking for so much. He didn’t consider that maybe it’s too high of a number and that Ben will tell him to piss off, that he’ll find someone else. He decides he hates that outcome more.

“It’s a deal.”

And that was that. They didn’t have much more of a conversation. Ben sounded unbothered, told Callum he’ll talk to him tomorrow with more information, that he needed to get some things sorted first.

Callum guesses it’s the money. Assumes that Ben must be more desperate than he’s letting Callum know.

_‘It’s only a few weeks’_ He tells himself. _‘It won’t be that bad.'_

Yet still, he can’t help but feel he just signed his soul away to the Devil.


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn’t the first restless night Callum had in the flat. He had been struggling to sleep for a couple of weeks now. It’s happening often enough that he can barely remember how long it’s been going on for, but he doubts it’s much of a coincidence that he can remember as far back as Chris leaving him. He’s what was on his mind most nights; it only made sense that Callum would lose sleep over him while his heart was still on the mend.

But for the first night in a long time Chris wasn’t the man he couldn’t get out of his thoughts. Callum tossed and turned all night, every time he thought about how he agreed to Ben’s deal his stomach surged with anxiety. He knew what he was about to get into was stupid, even for him, but he was desperate. And Ben was just _there_ offering exactly what he needed, when he needed it. Thoughts of fate crept into his mind a few times, but he stopped them before they took him somewhere weird.

_Fate. Cosmic timing. The stars aligning._ It was all a load of bollocks to him. 

Pure coincidence; that’s all it was.

_‘But why did it have to be him?’_ He agonized, at about two in the morning. He wants to think that it wouldn’t be as bad if it were someone else in Ben’s place - but he can’t picture anyone else in the square who would need him to do something so contrived. But he also doesn’t know why he can’t seem to imagine him being comfortable enough to do it with someone else, someone other than Ben. And that’s not a compliment to Ben - he’s not comfortable doing it with him either - but for some reason it makes sense to Callum that it’s him.

He wonders what Ben will expect him to do in their...arrangement. (Used together the words _relationship_ and _Ben_ sits with him uncomfortably, so he’s avoiding using them both in the same sentence while he can)  
Until he talks to Ben again he has no choice but to let his imagination run wild. He’ll have to lie to Kathy when he sees her around, which is already hard enough as it is; he was never the best at it. Ian too, though he gets the feeling he won’t give much of a toss. The more he thinks about it, maybe it won’t be so bad. It’s Ben’s family at the end of the day, he’ll probably do most of the lying for Callum. Out of two of them he’s no doubt better at it than Callum.

At least, he comforts himself, Ben doesn’t take himself too seriously. Maybe he won’t actually take the deal too seriously either. He’ll probably just take the piss the whole time and, maybe, if they’re forced into a situation that needs it, he’ll hold Callums hand every now and then. 

Well

That image makes Callum’s stomach flip. He’s not ready to hold anyone’s hand, not just yet. Least of all Ben Mitchell’s.

He settles on his back for maybe the fifteenth time, arms sprayed out by his side. He stares miserably at the ceiling above him. He’s so exhausted and so awake at the same time. He considers making a doctors appointment soon; see if he can get some kind of prescription that’ll knock him straight out when he needs it.

His mind is screaming at him and it feels like he’s trying to focus on a thousand thoughts a minute all at the same time. He looks at the clock on his bedside table.

2 : 53 A.M

His eyes have been burning with tiredness for hours now, but he knows he’s not going to be falling asleep any time soon.

So he decides he’s going to tire himself out with an extremely late - or extremely early - run.

He’s never went on a run in the dead of night before. He tries to get in a morning run on the weekends, or during the week when he’s up and able. He can’t recall the last time he had the energy for it.  
He figures he can kill two birds with one stone; exercising will help clear his head and hopefully leave him tired enough that he can rest when he returns home.  
He’s down and out of his flat within minutes, throwing on his old running gear and trainers. He opts out of taking his headphones with him, afraid that if he ran into some creeps he wouldn’t hear them before it was too late.

He stops to stretch outside his door. The air was crisp and refreshing. It could almost be humid, if it wasn’t for the light breeze. The weather was perfect; the sky was clear of any clouds, and the moon shone on the streets just brightly enough that Callum reckons he’d be able to see where he was going under the moonlight alone, without the streetlamps. 

He couldn’t help but feel he had stepped into another world. It was so quiet, so dark and peaceful. Time seemed to be frozen still at that moment. He felt hesitant to start running; he wanted to live in the atmosphere of Walford at near three in the morning.

Not like he had never been out this late before; of course he has. But all those other times he was drunk, or at least had someone or some people to keep him company.

Now it was just him, alone. 

And he didn’t mind it so much right now.

He circles the square at least three times before his legs start to ache and he decides to call it a night. He almost wishes time was really stopped, in that moment. So he can just stay out in the calm and quiet night for a little bit longer. For the first time in a long while he didn’t have to think, didn’t have to worry. It was only him and the moonlight right then. It was what he needed.

He slept soundly for the rest of the morning.

\-----

_‘Meet me at the Prince Albert at 5pm’_

That’s all he’s heard from Ben all afternoon. He’s lost count how many times he’s read the text. Callum hated how blunt and vague it was, and was unsure of why he chose the Albert for their meeting place instead of somewhere with a little more privacy, like the car lot or one of their own homes.

He’s sitting at the table in the middle of the Undertakers, a folder open in front of him with sheets of client information, but he’s staring at his phone laid out on the table. The anticipation of their meeting was clouding his mind. Dealing with Ben was exasperating a lot of the time, but he knew it’d be worth it once he gets his hands on the money and can put all this rent stress finally behind him.

And then maybe look for a new flatmate.

He didn’t want to before, not so soon after the breakup, but he knows he doesn’t have a choice now. He can’t afford to live in the flat by himself. But that’s a situation he can deal with later.

“You alright?” Asks Jay emerging from his office. They hadn’t gotten the chance to talk much that morning with Jay needing to catch up on work he missed yesterday.

Callum nods, probably a bit too enthusiastically to seem genuine. “Yeah I’m fine, just looking over this new client coming tomorrow.”

“Right yeah, when are they due in?”

“About half three they said. Shouldn’t be any issues, they just want to talk about the costs and that.”

Jay nods, listening to Callum while also looking into his own folder.

Callum continues, “Hey, how was your night, anyway? Went well, by the sounds of it.” He ends his sentence in a genuine chuckle. He enjoys talking to Jay. Most of the time it seems like he’s the only one around here with his head properly screwed onto his shoulders.

“Yeah we had a good time.” He starts, taking a seat across from Callum, “Took her to a nice restaurant out of town, had a few drinks at a bar.”

“Few too many?” Callum jokes, sitting back in his chair.

“Could say that, yeah.” Jay huffs a laugh before rubbing his right temple for a few seconds. “Can still feel it, mate, I don’t remember gettin’ this old.”

“Yeah but it’s worth it though, innit? For Lola.”

Jay smiles at just the mention of her name, like he’s a little schoolboy with a crush. “I can’t believe we’re getting married soon. It’s mental. Feels like it was just yesterday when we was kids, y’know?” He’s not looking at Callum but instead just into the space between him, like he’s relieving the memory right then and there. 

“You’s two were made for each other.” Says Callum, trying to ignore his heart beating a little more than it should. He hates that he can’t even talk about his friends relationships without being reminded of his own failed one. “Not long now, is it? ‘Till the wedding.”

Jay becomes immediately exasperated at just the mention. “Jesus yeah I know, about less than a month now. Hope you’ve got your suit ready, mate, because Lola wants us all lookin’ as fit and fancy as we can.” He laughs, and Callum joins him.

“Actually, speaking of relationships,” Jay interrupts himself before Callum can say that his suit is hanging in the wardrobe ready for the wedding. He levels Callum with a look like he’s trying to figure out a riddle. “I was talking to Ben earlier.”

Callum frowns for a moment, not sure what he means by that. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He nods. “He mentioned that he was taking you out on a date later, or whatever. Are yous two up to something?”

Callum’s eyebrows shoot up and his pulse quickens. He’s not sure how to answer that question, or what exactly Jay might mean by asking it. He shakes his head, mouth opening and closing while his mind races for the right response.

“I - um - H-He” He starts stuttering. He thanks God sometimes for never having him end up in a hostage interrogation scenario because he would be absolutely useless. “I’m meeting him, um, for a drink later on, yeah. Wants to chat about...something.” And he shrugs and tries to put on a convincing smile.

Jay has a look of confusion and slight concern on his face. “Did you just short circuit there, Highway?”

Another question Callum’s not even sure how to answer because, basically, yes he just did. Why? Completely unsure how to explain that one.

He fakes a laugh, “I just got tongue tied there. Tired, didn’t get much sleep last night.” He tries to explain. It’s enough for Jay, thankfully, he just nods.

“Right. Well. I’ve got to get back to work. Old Widow wants to arrange a coffin viewing for tomorrow morning, need to give her a call.” Jay says as he stands and makes his way to his office.

“Yeah, yeah, ‘course. I’ll chat to you in a bit.” He smiles politely and as soon as he hears the door to Jay’s office shut he drops it immediately. 

_‘Idiot’ _  
He’s not sure if that angry thought is aimed at himself or Ben.

This deal, a deal they haven’t even made yet, already has him in a tizzy. Not that he’s ever made plans for a drink with Ben before, but if Ben had referred to meeting Callum as date before all this started he would have shrugged it off, tell Jay that Ben was just being daft and teasing him like he always does. 

He hopes that once he knows what he’s supposed to do and what he’s supposed to say he can stop worrying so much about it. He doesn’t want to muck things up for himself before they’ve even had a proper chat first. He can’t risk it, not right now.

\--

Five o’clock rolls around much faster than he would’ve liked. He pops into Jay’s office to tell him he’s leaving early to meet Ben. Jay waves him off, tells him to enjoy himself.  
He doesn’t feel bothered to go home and change out of his work uniform first, he’s afraid of leaving Ben waiting too long, so he makes a start for the Prince Albert once he’s out the door.

Once he’s there, it's not hard to spot Ben in the corner of the bar, given that he’s one of the only four patrons there. The Prince Albert was lively and fun at night, but very quiet during the day. He inhales and exhales a deep breath first, and makes his way over. He catches Tina’s eye behind the bar and offers her a polite smile and small wave. She smiles happily back, but eyes him curiously when she sees whose direction he was heading in.

Ben looks up from his phone then, and gives Callum a nod.

“You alright?” Callum greets first nervously. He’s not really sure how else to approach Ben other than being his normal friendly self. He’s never been in this situation before, he feels like he’s not aware of the proper etiquette. 

Ben says nothing when he sits across from him, but he smirks just a little. He reaches down to his side and drops a bulky brown envelope onto the table. He slides it forward just an inch for Callum to take.

Callum stares at it and raises his brows.

“Right to it then.”

Ben nods. And then he raises a finger to point at the envelope. “In there you’ll find two grand.”

Callum’s already reached for the envelope and was just about to open it when Ben’s words hit him.

He looks at him deadfaced, hoping that maybe he didn’t hear him right. But he knows he did. Ben’s not smiling, not exactly, but he looks smug nonetheless.

“I asked for four.” Callum says, confusion plain as day in his voice.

Ben nods again. “Right. I’ll give you half now, and the rest when I’m finished with ya’.” And then he smiles that little shit stirring smile he does when he knows he’s done something to piss someone off.

Callum’s gripping onto the envelope tightly, his knuckles turning white.

“I asked for four - I need the four now, Ben.” He wants to yell at him but he can’t. It starts to make a little more sense to him why Ben didn’t choose the car lot or somewhere else private. He knew Callum might want to cause a scene when he screws him over.

“Relax, you’ll get it. In time.” Ben’s leaning back comfortably in his chair, hands folded over his stomach, and completely unbothered by how upset Callum was.

Halfway on the other hand is speechless. Really, truly, doesn’t know what to say without cursing the Mitchell out of it and telling him to shove the money where the sun don’t shine.

But ultimately he knows that two grand is better than the nothing he has right now.

Not that it made him any less angry.

He runs a hand stressfully through his hair. “Why? Why not just give me the money like I asked?”

Ben huffs out a laugh and raises a brow, like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. He licks lips and leans forward. “Have you ever actually made a deal before, Halfway?” 

The way he says it irritates Callum only further, he says it like Callum’s too slow to understand, like he’s stupid. He glares at Ben. Not offering any kind of answer. Ben doesn’t need one to continue anyway.

“If I gave you all you wanted, how would I know you’ll keep your half of the deal up?”

Callum shakes his head and shrugs. “I’d give you my word.” And he says it so earnestly that it’s hard to miss Ben’s features soften momentarily. Ben sighs and doesn’t meet his eyes for a second.

“That’s not how I do business, Callum. I give you half now, you help me out, I’ll pay you the rest when we’re finished.”

Callums heart sinks. He knew it couldn’t be so easy, nothing ever is. He doesn’t want to throw a fit. He should have known better than to think Ben Mitchell would be oh so generous and stop being a self-obsessed business man for five minutes. But, then again, Callum thinks, why should he think Ben would do him such a favour. After all, they weren’t even mates at the end of the day.

He wants to hate Ben for it, but he can’t.

He can’t find it in himself to hate anyone. Linda used to tease him sometimes, tell him that his heart was two times too big for his own body. He always laughed it off. But he knows there might some truth in her teasing. He wish it wasn’t the case. Hate’s that he can be such a soft touch sometimes.

He decides that he’ll take what he can get.

He almost needs to find the strength for it, but he nods, and slips the money into his inner coat pocket.

“Fine.” He can’t stop his voice cracking and winces to himself at how weak he sounded. Maybe his landlord will be understanding. Two grand is still a large sum of money, and it’s more than half of what he owes.

They’re both silent, and he knows it’s only been minutes, but it drags on for what feels like hours. He looks at Ben, and Ben is staring right back. Callum can’t quite tell what way Ben was looking at him. Like he was thinking, trying to figure Callum out. Ben blinks away, realising finally what he was doing.

Callum’s not sure what just happened. He takes a deep breath and exhales.

“So. The fake, um, boyfriend, thing.” Callum tries, manages to say boyfriend at just above whisper level, “Know what you’re doing?”

It breaks the weird tension in the air at least, even if he’s dreading what Ben might say.

Ben sits up straight and clears his throat. “Right, yeah.”

His air of smugness takes no time to return, much to Callums disappointment. He might have preferred the silence.

Definitely. Definitely would have preferred the silence.

“So, I’ll start with a better explanation with what’s goin’ on at home.” Ben starts, leans back in his chair. “As you already know, I’ve been gettin’ a bit too busy between the sheets.”

Callum rolls his eyes on cue, really not needing the finer details; details he already knows.

“But I haven’t really emphasised how busy”

“You don’t need to.” Callum interjects quickly, Ben ignores him.

“It’s been a few months of it. I won’t lie, I ain’t really havin’ much of a hard time finding arse ‘round this side of London.” He can tell too well that Callum’s getting progressively more uncomfortable with the details of his sex life. And he’s having a bit too much fun with it. 

Callum feels like he’s in the company of the Cheshire fucking cat with the way Ben’s grinning at him from across the table.

“Yeah- I know, Ben. You said as much in the Undertakers yesterday.” Callum snaps.

But he may as well be adding fuel to the fire that is Ben Mitchell, because all Ben does is bark a laugh back at him.

“And yeah, like I mentioned, Mum - and sometimes, Ian - has accidentally walked in on me a few too many times. I think the last time was about a month ago, maybe?”

Callum was half-listening at this point, but that caught his attention. “A month ago? You made it out as if it were more drastic than that.” He feels like he’s almost accusing Ben, of what he’s not sure.

Ben shrugs and makes a face that reads to Callum as ‘_Oops_’

Callum frowns. “Why do I feel like you’re not telling me everything, Ben?”

Ben looks sheepish. Callum knows he’s not getting the full story.

“You remember when I said that I told her the other night, about you, us, going out, yeah?”

Callum nods. Hard to forget when it was only yesterday and it nearly gave Callum an aneurysm.

“Well…” Ben drawls. Callum frowns. “I might have lied. I may have actually told her about three weeks ago, now that I think of it.” He has the audacity to say it so casually, like he was remembering the date of someone's birthday, or the last time he went on a weekend long bender. 

Callum’s not sure how to take it. Confused, definitely. But mostly very worried that the whole square has thought he and Ben were an item this entire time before he was even made aware of it.

So he asks the only question he can think of.

“_Why?_”

“Well I told you why. I needed to calm down Mum. Remember? Told you about the intervention and all that.”

“Why,” Callum asks again, “has this lie been going around for _three weeks_ and I only know about it _now?_”

“Oh right, yeah. Well, see, I thought I could just throw your name out there and she’d just take it, right? Leave me alone for a while.” He stops mid sentence to sigh. “Except she hasn’t. In fact, she’s worse now.”

Callum frowns. “What do you mean?”

“It -” Ben starts, and then stops, not really sure how to say what he needs to say. “It’s been... a while since I’ve been with a boy longer than just a hookup, alright? Been a while since my last relationship.”

It clicks with Callum now, why Ben’s struggling to explain. Callum didn’t know much about Ben’s ex- boyfriend. When Callum moved to the Square Ben had already been out of Walford for a while. When the Mitchell made his return, Walford was awash with rumours and whispers for that entire week. Callum knew about Ben before he ever said one word to him. He picked up bits and pieces, but he knows just enough about Paul, and about Paul and Ben, to understand Ben’s behaviour.

So he says nothing and he nods, letting Ben continue.

“When I told Mum that I might have been seeing someone she got so...excited. Just, really happy for me, right? I haven’t seen her so pleased for me since...well, since…” He leads off, and before Callum can so much as offer another nod he’s continuing again, “a while, alright? So I didn’t have the heart to tell her.”

Ben’s almost off in his own world, staring at the ground rather than at Callum. It’s silent between them again, for a minute.

And Callum feels sympathetic for him, before he remembers a fine little detail that Ben has failed to bring up.

“I thought you was getting kicked out?”

“Hm?” It’s brought Ben back to earth and back to the conversation. Callum raises his brows.

“You told me yesterday that your mum and Ian was threatening to kick you out. Or did you lie about that too?”

Ben rolls his eyes and smirks again.

“No, that wasn’t a lie. Like I said, I told her that three weeks ago. If you know my Mum at all, you should know that’s not the kind of lie you can tell her and just get away with it.”

“But you -”

“Yeah, I know now, Callum. Look, I didn’t tell her it was you, not at first. The other night, what I told you about, did happen. I came home, I was drunk, and she ambushed me. Started going on about why she hasn’t met my boyfriend yet and started throwin’ accusations around that I was lying to her and that I only told her that to shut her up.”

“But -”

Ben raises a finger. Callum shuts his mouth.

“She said if it was the case that I was lying to her and that I was still sneaking boys back into the house under her nose, then I can pack my bags and find my own place.” He shrugged. “So that’s when I panicked. She was angry, and I didn’t know what to do, and your name was just the first thing that popped into my head. So that’s what I told her.”

Callum’s still trying to take in the flood of information before Ben continues again.

“So, now that she has a name, and that name happens to be yours, she will absolutely not leave me alone about it. Any time I’ve ran into her since then she’s been begging me to let her meet you.”

“But she’s already met me-”

“As my boyfriend, Callum, keep up.”

Callum shuts his mouth again sheepishly. But then he thinks.

“I’ve seen Kathy around though...she’s never mentioned anything.”

Ben sighs.

“Because I told her that you and me, we was keeping it a secret. And I told her specifically not to go near you because you’d be mad that I opened my mouth.”

He really thought of everything.

“So. Lying to her about having a secret boyfriend hasn’t worked out much in my favour. And I’ve gone and fucked myself by telling her it was you. Made it a bit more difficult to keep lying about it when you live practically ten feet away.” He chuckles humorously, mostly to himself. “It’s only a matter of time before she catches on that somethin’ isn’t right and she kicks me out for lying to her even more.”

And he exhales, finally finishing the full explanation as to why he’s dragged Callum into his mess. He’s searching Callum’s face for a reaction, his right hand on the table, mindlessly tapping his index finger against the surface. A stress quirk, possibly. But Callum doesn’t react, still taking in all the information. Until finally he shrugs,

“So what are you going to do?”

“_We_. It’s ‘We’ now, callum” Ben corrects with a smirk.

Callum rolls his eyes “Right yeah, because I had anything to do with this.” It earns him a chuckle from Ben, before he talks again,

“She wants you around for dinner on Thursday. Family thing. Like I said, she wants to meet you properly as my boyfriend. She’ll probably start badgering you with questions about us, all that mushy meet-the-parents stuff, you know the deal. It’ll be easy.”

Callum huffs out a humourless laugh, “Easy, yeah, when it’s a proper relationship. Which we ain’t in, we’re lying.”

“Ooh nothing gets by you quick, does it?” Ben grins.

Callum’s jaw tightens at the teasing. There’s a time and place when he can put up with it but it wasn’t now. “I mean’t how are we going to act? Will she catch on if we, y’know...just act normal?”

Ben’s eyebrows raise and Callum can tell he’s in for another jibe. “Wantin’ to get up close and comfortable already, Callum? I’m shocked, but flattered, truly.” And he smiles a little too sweetly. Callum's not sure if he has any patience left for this.

He wonders briefly how any man could stay with Ben longer than one night and feels thankful for a moment that this relationship is fake, thinks that it would only take a week in the company of Ben Mitchell before all his hair would turn grey with stress.

And maybe Ben can tell he’s at his wits end and, strangely, seems sympathetic. “I know what you mean’t.” He clarifies, “Look, we may have to do a bit’a hand holding here and there, maybe a little cuddle on the couch. Just to save face. Think you could handle all that?”  
He still has a faint smirk on his face but his question, for a change, was genuine.

Callum swallows a lump in his throat. The idea of already being that level of intimate with Ben when he barely knows (or likes) him already had him feeling nervous.But he nods hesitantly.

“Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.”

“Right, so the dinner will probably be at around seven. So clear that little schedule of yours up.” He smiles smugly. Callum frowns at the rudeness of his request but nods at him nonetheless. 

“So are we done here?” Callum asks. Ben’s taken the energy out of him and he feels like he needs a rest.

“Oh leaving so soon?” Ben asks, “Let me buy you a drink, ‘least I can do.”

It surprised Callum, genuinely. It may have been the nicest Ben’s been to him all evening.

Or, as long as he’s known him even. But maybe it’s promising. If Callum can at the very least build a friendship with Ben, then it might make the next couple of weeks that much more bearable. So he nods. 

Ben raises his arm, catching Tina’s attention from where she’s at at another table, flirting with one of the punters. Callum narrows his eyes at Ben, thinks it a bit rude to not just wait at the bar for her.

Tina’s happy to come to the table regardless.

“You alright, gentlemen?” She asks brightley, eyes darting between the two of them. Still clearly bewildered that the two men were together when she’s barely seen them talk before.

“Yeah we’re havin’ a great time, ain’t we?” Answers Ben, and smiles pointedly at Callum.

Callum’s taken off guard by Ben’s sudden change in behaviour, but smiles at Tina anyway.  
“Y-yeah, yeah, ‘course.”

“A pint, please, Tina.” He starts. “You want a pint, Callum?”

Callum eyes him suspiciously. “Uh, yeah sure.” He’s still unsure of what Ben’s angle is now, he’s acting a little too friendly for comfort.

“And a pint for my wonderful boyfriend here.” And there’s that too too sweet smile of his, and for emphasis he reaches out and lays his hand on top of Callums over the table.

Callum’s not sure if what just happened was real or if he was having a stroke.

Tina’s eyes have widened. He reckons he and her are wearing matching expressions.

“Well well, when’s this happened then?”

“Oh a little while now, we just wanted to keep it a secret. Didn’t we, babe?” 

Callum’s looking at Ben like a deer in headlights and feels like he was just suckerpunched three times in a row. Ben’s hand feels like it’s burning on top of his own, so aware that it’s still there. 

His mouth feels sewn shut so he just nods quickly to Tina and tries his best to force a smile.

She’s practically grinning ear to ear. “Y’know I was wondering why you two was in here together! All makes sense now.” And she looks at them both like the cat that caught the canary.   
Ben smiles back at her. “I’ll get those pints for you now, boys. Enjoy your date.” And with that, she’s away to the bar.

Callum nearly rips his hand from out under Bens and feels like he could spontaneously combust.

“What was _that!?_” He whispers aggressively so Tina won’t hear, not that she’d be able to over the music anyway.

Ben just shrugs but is obviously amused by Callum’s outburst. “Just covering some ground.”

Callum stares at him confused, his brows furrowed. So Ben clarifies,

“We’re supposed to be going out, Callum. For a few weeks, yeah, but people are going to hear about it eventually.”

“It’s just to convince your Mum, Ben! Tina ain’t need to know, she’s going to tell everyone!”

Ben nods knowingly. “I know. Why’d you think we’re meeting here? Wanted to get it out of the way.”

Callum’s eyebrows shoot up well near his hairline. “What?”

Ben rolls his eyes at Callum’s refusal to get where he’s coming from. “It’s Kathy, Halfway. She works with Tina, she wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret anyway.”

“She could have!”

“I know my Mother, Callum, she wouldn't’ve been quiet for long.” Ben states, clearing growing bored of this conversation. “Look, we’re not going to be at this long. There’s no need stressin’ yourself over it.”

It almost makes Callum want to laugh. They haven’t even started yet, not really, and Callum’s already been stressed over it for more than a day now. 

Tina drops their pints down in front of them, and leaves them alone with a wink. It makes his stomach feel uneasy, her knowing (thinking) that he and Ben are in a relationship. It sits with him weirdly.

He touches the glass of his pint tentatively, not sure if he can stomach it anymore.  
He watches Ben quietly under his lashes. The other man has his attention on his phone now, and already has started drinking his larger. Callum can’t help but observe him.

He’s an enigma to him. He can’t understand how Ben is so sure of himself all the time, so confident, so cocky. Doesn’t he feel guilty for lying? Or at the very least, nervous that he’ll get caught and have to face the consequences? 

They’re too very different people, Callum settles on. Polar opposites. And he’s glad for it. 

__

He finishes is pint in personal-record time. Ben, at least, had the decency to pay for both their drinks. Callum departed with a stiff goodbye and left for home as soon as he could get away. Ben may have made a joke or crude remark after him but he ignored it.

Sitting in his living room now, the weight of the situation really hits him. He can’t stop replaying the moment of Ben calling him his boyfriend and resting his hand on top of his own. The way Tina’s smile grew three sizes and the wink she gave him when she arrived with the pints. His blood is bumping with anxiety, because now that Tina knows everyone will know and he worries what they’ll think.

It’s only then when three faces appear in his mind, when the realisation of Tina’s impact will have on him.

Jay. Mick. Stuart.

They’re all going to hear second hand that he’s, of all people, Ben Mitchells boyfriend. 

His stomach is doing somersaults and he can’t stop the blush of embarrassment that fills his cheeks when he thinks about how they’ll react, what they’ll say when they see him next. The looks, the laughs, the teasing, and the chastising (because, well, it’s Ben Mitchell. The bad boy of east Walford. They’re not going to let that part go.) 

And in that moment, Callum can’t help the feelings rising inside him.

He hates him.

He hates Ben Mitchell for what he’s making him do.

But he’s reminded, with the envelope sitting on his coffee table, that really, Ben’s not making him do anything.

He’s agreed to this.

So maybe he hates himself a little more too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so SO much for all the love on chapter one!! Hope chapter two doesn't disappoint! 
> 
> *
> 
> twitter handle: @ballum_trash
> 
> Tumblr URL: ballum-trash.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked the first chapter!! May be posting updates on my new twitter when I can <3
> 
> Twitter: @ballum_trash / twitter.com/ballum_trash
> 
> Tumblr: ballum-trash@tumblr.com


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